Hi, this is my first post in a very long time but its going to be a very happy and personal on. i hope its worth the wait and stay tuned…
When I started writing or rather sharing on wordpress last year I was skeptical as any newbie forraging into an unknown space. i was unsure about how much i should be reveiling myself on a public platform because for me sharing doesnot come easy, be it thoughts or possessions. i wanted to be honest in everything i posted and yet held myself back for the fear of how someone would react if they really know me, which i guess never really goes away, you just learn to go around those fears. since i really wanted to write so i started with a half hearted attempt at a story..a few chapters that i have posted so far and a how to series which i personally love to read as it gives a false hope of having control over atleast some things in life which is me mostly going bersek in all directions without any clue.
unwantingly, if thats even a word..and out of my deadly habit of laziness and chronic lack of not pushing myself hard enough, i was unable to write anything on this forum for a past few months. also i do have some pretty good reasons if u care to believe,
1. i had my exam in january for getting admission into post grad school,to prepare for which, i had taken the previous year off from all my other duties. turns out that i did not leave ALL of my luxuries aka youtube, sleep, procastination to name a few and so when the results came out in february, i managed to just pass without any big hopes to land a good college and ended up disappointing myself and not to mention THE PARENTS.
2. i used to write on my phone using the wordpress app and it was difficult to type so i thought that for the new year, i would gift myself a laptop so that i can write more often. this plan ran into problems as i took my time finding one that suited my needs and my pocket. also the one i finally got was not wired properly (not in technical terms) and i had to wait some more time for repairs but finally ended up getting it replaced. i love running my fingers on it now that i have it after shipment delays and all the usual stuff.
3.i had planned a vacation after the exam in february which got delayed as it usually is when travelling with families so much so that now it is most likely cancelled since the admission process is beginging tentatively during the week that we had booked flights for the getaway.
4.i have no idea why im writing all these details for you to read but its a part of the package i guess. also letting off the steam sure feels like a meditation session, my so called problems appearing insignificant as i’ve issued them out to the public.
5. i know people have far bigger problems to deal with than my whinnings but if you’ve made it so far i want to really thank you for your patience.
if you want to read more posts like these where i open up to you please do let me know.
and even if you did not like this , dont worry, i’ll still be writing more because i liked sharing this time..(wink)
so as a remedy i want to try daily logs and journal type entries in order to be more regular in my writing and keep a record of my days in a hope to make decisions for a better life.