How to series no. 4
have a great friendship.
This is a very special post as I’ve struggled with relationships all my life. The topic of Friendships is really close to my heart as I’ve had lots of ups and downs in life but I’ve also had some great friends along the way who taught me so much about life. Some are still with me and some have drifted apart, maybe for good, I still don’t know. But I sure would like to pass on what I gained through my experience.. A summary.
1. You don’t have to know everything. Now I’m not saying that have secrets but it’s okay if you don’t share all the deets down to the color of the undies. Its okay..different people have different mindsets about sharing and privacy. Or maybe the time is just not right. Its okay to keep some things to your self.
2.Keep room to breathe. You don’t need to do everything together. Clingy people are not cool.You can live your separate lives and still be best friends.
3.Trust. Don’t hunt them to a corner by interrogating. Let them come to you.
4.Ask for help. Don’t keep thinking that some magic is going to happen and they will feel it in their bones that you need help. They maybe stuck in their own mess. You need help so go ahead and ask for it.
5.Be clear about sharing money. Many great friendships are destroyed by misunderstandings as people don’t want to appear cheap. You shouldnt be under the pressure to flaunt it if you don’t have it. Be polite in such matters but also be firm. If you can’t be honest with your friends that you are in a tight place with cash, then are they really the type of people you need in your life.
6.Stay cool. Have patience or let it go. Those who are not meant to be in your life will go so doesn’t matter how hard you try to keep them forcefully. If they realise your worth, trust me they will make an effort to stay. If its a phase it will pass. You don’t need to vent and fume over everything that others do. You are only responsible for your own reactions.
7.Don’t give your reactions. Give advise. You don’t like the new boyfriend.. Its OK. You don’t have to sleep with him. But if you friend asks for your opinion, be honest but rational. Don’t say he’s a bad person. Instead say you are not convinced yet and that you need more time. In the meanwhile if you friend is visibly happy then its your duty to be happy for them. Make sure to be on a lookout if your gut feels uneasy.
8.Make independent decisions. Don’t let your friends decide everything for you. This way if something goes wrong, you have no one else to blame but yourself. If you are not happy with your choices then take advice from everyone but the final decision should be yours.
9. If you have been friends for long you have learnt to ignore some things. Or even habits that you don’t like but still put up with them because you care. It shows you dont care about small things since you have come to acceptance with them in need to make room for bigger things in your heart that actually matter. That’s a sign of maturity which is usually seen in great friendships.
10. Forgive. Say sorry first. Its simple. Its easy. And its priceless because it let’s you move on from the past.
Also I would like to add that like two people, no two friendships are alike. We have our own quirks and follies that make us unique. The moral of the story is to learn how to love or accept the other person just the way they are.